be sure you want to read this,, this contains something you would might not want to read
everyone has their own good and bad side right? so is it alright if i just abuse this privilege of being bad? and just hate a person for this time being? well, maybe not hate nor despise but maybe i'll just release some of my negative emotions.. and just let loose..
a lot of people think i'm nice and all that.. but of course in my very own point of view and in the almost-eighteen-years i am alive, i think i'd be able to tell whether i'm really nice or not.. to tell you honestly i'm not nice.. not a single drop of "niceness" is in me, if there's such a term..
so i've been lying to everyone that i'm a nice person.. i commit things that would demean others or do things that everyone would oppose to.. i'm a lass living with uncertainties in life and not having much to live upon.. maybe i'm just influenced by religion that's why everyone discerns that i am good... or in most times nice..
so i've come to terms with this certain person or persons... actually, i know two of them for almost two years and the other one.. i've been living with for almost 18 years of my sad life.. this post is actually about the person i've known for 18 years.. she's my sister.. but since i've already mentioned the other two. might as well tell something about them..
you'll discover from this point on that i am not a good person and that i deserve to be in hell but please.. i don't want to go to hell and i don't want to be that person you'd hate for the rest of your lives.. i just want to show you that not all people you know despite your close relations are what you think they are..
you think you know them because you're close to them but the horrfying truth to this is that you really don't know them... and that's a disadvantage of course.. i hope i'm still making sense to you.. anyway..
let's get started with the story..
i love my sister.. i really do.. generally, everone loves their siblings right? but you know i'm a really moody person a hot-tempered one at that.. i usually get irritated when someone annoys me.. it's very hard for me to keep up with everyone's attitudes you know!
so anyway... before you ask me why i'm irritated or things that would bother you about these statement.. let me share you a story that happens to me a lot of times..
whenever someone is sharing a gossip or just something interesting and she tells it to all of us. i tend not to listen and continue on daydreaming or thinking about other stuff or continue watching tv.. or just continue on doing what i am doing.. so after they all finished sharing stories.. they'd laugh or ask a lot of other details concerning the story... just reactions to the story that was shared.. and then that's when my attention would fall onto them.. i'd ask "what happened? repeat the story... or who was it that done what?" and whatever stupid questions you can think of.. it would be really obvious to the speaker that i'm not listening and they'd either repeat or be irritated.. don't get me wrong though.. i listen when they're directly talking to me or if i'm already indulged to the story they're telling... so, as to continue with my story. my sister would always tell me.. "karla! please listen... or karla.. what's wrong with you... or karla, ang kulit mo!" and the like... that would also irritate me....
so now... this sister of mine loves to ask annoying questions.. and sometimes even personal questions... if there's one thing i hate (even though there are lots of things i hate) it's prying into my personal life.. cause that's mine... and it's very awkward to be answering personal questions cause these are sometimes secrets or something that no one should be asking.. and sometimes asking questions that are VERY EASY to answer annoys me.. i don't know why..... it's just plain common sense for these questions.. see i told you.. very demeaning to others... i'm not smart but these are really easy questions that anyone can answer.. it annoys me...
i shouldn't be really saying she's my sister cause she doesn't want to expose her "PRIVATE" life to everyone.. so just pretend she's not my sister.. okies?
so there.. i'm really trying to put up with her attitude... she's a very sweet person but too much sweetness might attract ants... and that's bad.. she asks a lot of questions and i don't want questions, if you hate me for asking too many questions, then i don't like it too when you ask a lot of questions. she looks for things using her mouth.. not literally. and she asks without even trying for herself first.. you learn from your mistakes ok... and she's very insensitive.. she doesn't even notice that i don't want to talk about a certain something... she already knows that i'm answering her questions less and without enthusiasm by which it means it's awkward for me and i don't want further questions to be asked... waaah! i'm so mean.... just nasty!
i'm really trying to be nice and all, trying my very best to keep my composure, uurgh! but i just can't.. it's hard.. why of all people should i be feeling this way? she told me that i'm a very patient girl but whenever it's about her i am not? i lack respect... that's so sad.. but why, whenever i'm with my other sister, the one they usually refer to as my TWIN , i can talk and be myself whenever i want to, i'm not irritated with the things she does.. and i'm starting BE like her.. in a good and bad way... but why not with my older sister?
maybe it's because of BACKSTABBING. yes.. i think that's the answer... i have this tendency to hate more a person whenever someone talks bad about them..
to my sister, i'm sorry.. and i hope i'd be able to bring our relationship to a deeper one...
in relation to BACKSTABBING, this is where the other two people comes into view.... let's start with the first person........... naaaah!!! i don't want to talk about her....
so anyway, let's just start with this other person..
she's really nice... but she can be a big baby sometimes and when i say big baby, i mean to say a BRAT! yes... i'm sorry...
she started out as a good friend, she continued being a good friend, she still is a good friend but with a lot of flaws. i really don't want to do this but since i'm already typing this then maybe a part of me really wants to..
you guys may have experienced something like this with a close friend.. you know.. you may have a big fight because she or he is so..... uhmm.... bossy... for lack of a better term i have no choice.. sorry to hurt anyone's feelings...
i've been a good friend to her but i guess i'm not really that a ""GOOD"" friend if i'm talking behind her back right? but you know what i mean.. whenever i'm around her i'm always nice and i keep my cool.. well, most of the time i guess. cause she also gets into my nerves since she has this commanding aura.. and i hate that... so much... she wants to do everything her way and only her way... in an exaggerated form, i mean to say she wants everything planned in her way.. no one should suggest anything else.. no one should question her.. no one, and i say NO ONE is to blame her if in any case her plan didn't work.. and i told you, it's in an exaggerated form...
she pushes people out of her way without saying the "magic word" whenever she's busy doing "something" (something in this case means something important). and i mean that literally... she pushes people... it's something like "out of my way! i'm busy!" that kind of way.. as i told you she wants everything done her way... she has to finish whatever it is she's doing.. well, she's not pushing TOO hard.. just hard enough for you to feel that you're being pushed aside.... that kind of push.. and she says things that would really annoy me... still because of the same reason... bossiness... she wouldn't let anybody try things.. she wants to go first.. she wants to try it for herself..... aaaaarrrrggghh!!!!!!! CRUELTY SEEPS UNTO MY BLOOD.
so whatever i do to make it seem like i'm nice, it would always show that i am not... even though i do things out of my best intentions... but maybe not this one.
my sister praises me a lot... and she hates me a lot.... how ironic... my friend whom i share my secrets with is the one i don't want to share secrets with.... does that make any sense? i hope it does..
my friends talks about my friend too... cause she's also their friend. hence, i tend to hate her more... sad truth.... shocked by my revelations? don't be.... it's the truth fo humanity.. the truth of this world....
we can't trust anybody anymore... sometimes not even yourself... despite the closeness you feel with each other... you don't know half their being. you don't really know what you think you know...... there's a story behind a story of every story... the world becomes small with every passing minute but that does not mean that everybody else or everything else is geting closer.....
MAYBE we don't really know one another...
a lot of people think i'm nice and all that.. but of course in my very own point of view and in the almost-eighteen-years i am alive, i think i'd be able to tell whether i'm really nice or not.. to tell you honestly i'm not nice.. not a single drop of "niceness" is in me, if there's such a term..
so i've been lying to everyone that i'm a nice person.. i commit things that would demean others or do things that everyone would oppose to.. i'm a lass living with uncertainties in life and not having much to live upon.. maybe i'm just influenced by religion that's why everyone discerns that i am good... or in most times nice..
so i've come to terms with this certain person or persons... actually, i know two of them for almost two years and the other one.. i've been living with for almost 18 years of my sad life.. this post is actually about the person i've known for 18 years.. she's my sister.. but since i've already mentioned the other two. might as well tell something about them..
you'll discover from this point on that i am not a good person and that i deserve to be in hell but please.. i don't want to go to hell and i don't want to be that person you'd hate for the rest of your lives.. i just want to show you that not all people you know despite your close relations are what you think they are..
you think you know them because you're close to them but the horrfying truth to this is that you really don't know them... and that's a disadvantage of course.. i hope i'm still making sense to you.. anyway..
let's get started with the story..
i love my sister.. i really do.. generally, everone loves their siblings right? but you know i'm a really moody person a hot-tempered one at that.. i usually get irritated when someone annoys me.. it's very hard for me to keep up with everyone's attitudes you know!
so anyway... before you ask me why i'm irritated or things that would bother you about these statement.. let me share you a story that happens to me a lot of times..
whenever someone is sharing a gossip or just something interesting and she tells it to all of us. i tend not to listen and continue on daydreaming or thinking about other stuff or continue watching tv.. or just continue on doing what i am doing.. so after they all finished sharing stories.. they'd laugh or ask a lot of other details concerning the story... just reactions to the story that was shared.. and then that's when my attention would fall onto them.. i'd ask "what happened? repeat the story... or who was it that done what?" and whatever stupid questions you can think of.. it would be really obvious to the speaker that i'm not listening and they'd either repeat or be irritated.. don't get me wrong though.. i listen when they're directly talking to me or if i'm already indulged to the story they're telling... so, as to continue with my story. my sister would always tell me.. "karla! please listen... or karla.. what's wrong with you... or karla, ang kulit mo!" and the like... that would also irritate me....
so now... this sister of mine loves to ask annoying questions.. and sometimes even personal questions... if there's one thing i hate (even though there are lots of things i hate) it's prying into my personal life.. cause that's mine... and it's very awkward to be answering personal questions cause these are sometimes secrets or something that no one should be asking.. and sometimes asking questions that are VERY EASY to answer annoys me.. i don't know why..... it's just plain common sense for these questions.. see i told you.. very demeaning to others... i'm not smart but these are really easy questions that anyone can answer.. it annoys me...
i shouldn't be really saying she's my sister cause she doesn't want to expose her "PRIVATE" life to everyone.. so just pretend she's not my sister.. okies?
so there.. i'm really trying to put up with her attitude... she's a very sweet person but too much sweetness might attract ants... and that's bad.. she asks a lot of questions and i don't want questions, if you hate me for asking too many questions, then i don't like it too when you ask a lot of questions. she looks for things using her mouth.. not literally. and she asks without even trying for herself first.. you learn from your mistakes ok... and she's very insensitive.. she doesn't even notice that i don't want to talk about a certain something... she already knows that i'm answering her questions less and without enthusiasm by which it means it's awkward for me and i don't want further questions to be asked... waaah! i'm so mean.... just nasty!
i'm really trying to be nice and all, trying my very best to keep my composure, uurgh! but i just can't.. it's hard.. why of all people should i be feeling this way? she told me that i'm a very patient girl but whenever it's about her i am not? i lack respect... that's so sad.. but why, whenever i'm with my other sister, the one they usually refer to as my TWIN , i can talk and be myself whenever i want to, i'm not irritated with the things she does.. and i'm starting BE like her.. in a good and bad way... but why not with my older sister?
maybe it's because of BACKSTABBING. yes.. i think that's the answer... i have this tendency to hate more a person whenever someone talks bad about them..
to my sister, i'm sorry.. and i hope i'd be able to bring our relationship to a deeper one...
in relation to BACKSTABBING, this is where the other two people comes into view.... let's start with the first person........... naaaah!!! i don't want to talk about her....
so anyway, let's just start with this other person..
she's really nice... but she can be a big baby sometimes and when i say big baby, i mean to say a BRAT! yes... i'm sorry...
she started out as a good friend, she continued being a good friend, she still is a good friend but with a lot of flaws. i really don't want to do this but since i'm already typing this then maybe a part of me really wants to..
you guys may have experienced something like this with a close friend.. you know.. you may have a big fight because she or he is so..... uhmm.... bossy... for lack of a better term i have no choice.. sorry to hurt anyone's feelings...
i've been a good friend to her but i guess i'm not really that a ""GOOD"" friend if i'm talking behind her back right? but you know what i mean.. whenever i'm around her i'm always nice and i keep my cool.. well, most of the time i guess. cause she also gets into my nerves since she has this commanding aura.. and i hate that... so much... she wants to do everything her way and only her way... in an exaggerated form, i mean to say she wants everything planned in her way.. no one should suggest anything else.. no one should question her.. no one, and i say NO ONE is to blame her if in any case her plan didn't work.. and i told you, it's in an exaggerated form...
she pushes people out of her way without saying the "magic word" whenever she's busy doing "something" (something in this case means something important). and i mean that literally... she pushes people... it's something like "out of my way! i'm busy!" that kind of way.. as i told you she wants everything done her way... she has to finish whatever it is she's doing.. well, she's not pushing TOO hard.. just hard enough for you to feel that you're being pushed aside.... that kind of push.. and she says things that would really annoy me... still because of the same reason... bossiness... she wouldn't let anybody try things.. she wants to go first.. she wants to try it for herself..... aaaaarrrrggghh!!!!!!! CRUELTY SEEPS UNTO MY BLOOD.
so whatever i do to make it seem like i'm nice, it would always show that i am not... even though i do things out of my best intentions... but maybe not this one.
my sister praises me a lot... and she hates me a lot.... how ironic... my friend whom i share my secrets with is the one i don't want to share secrets with.... does that make any sense? i hope it does..
my friends talks about my friend too... cause she's also their friend. hence, i tend to hate her more... sad truth.... shocked by my revelations? don't be.... it's the truth fo humanity.. the truth of this world....
we can't trust anybody anymore... sometimes not even yourself... despite the closeness you feel with each other... you don't know half their being. you don't really know what you think you know...... there's a story behind a story of every story... the world becomes small with every passing minute but that does not mean that everybody else or everything else is geting closer.....
MAYBE we don't really know one another...
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