No one I know knows that this is my blog. Well, no one I know knows that I have a blog here. I chose not to tell anybody since I don't want people I know what I really think about. It's more of a publicized private blog. No one I know knows that this is me, and everyone that I don't know wouldn't really care what goes on inside this tiny head of mine. By knowing this, I don't really have to worry about anything until someone I know tells me that he or she read this.
Why is everyone happy? Why can't I be happy? Am I even happy? Do I lack compassion and the ability to be compassionate to other people? Should I even care about what other people might think of me?
I wonder why I am the way I am. I don't know if I'm happy or just not content with what I have. Maybe I envy other people; maybe I'm insecure with everything that I am that I tend to look at others' life and then hate them contemptuously but then I might hate mine all this time. I think I'm questioning my own life. Does it even matter to anyone anymore? Do these emo moments really come to people's life one way or another? I don't like feeling crap all the time. It makes me feel worthless and useless. Maybe I should start work soon but I'm getting in my own way. I should look for work. Being with people makes me happy. Being able to relate to them makes me feel human.
I'm thinking of doing vlogs; that sounds fun. A get away from all these writing and at least I get to really say what's on my mind. I really miss writing though. When I get my life back and when I know myself again, maybe I should try writing again.
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