Stop Expecting Your SO to Be Perfect

Let’s talk about relationships, shall we? 

Women are emotional creatures. Most of the time we’re often portrayed as the complicated gender in a relationship.  Because we are. We’re over-thinkers, insecure, has high expectations and we’re, most of the time, emotional. Unlike our male friends who are the thinkers in a relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all relationships are like this. Most of the time though it is exactly like this. Men tend to take your ‘No’ as NO. Unlike us women when we say No, we may actually be saying a hundred more words than that. Why can’t we just say what we mean, right?

Let’s be real, at some point in our lives or in any of our relationships, no matter how independent and strong we are, we still want to be taken care of, to be spoiled, to be respected, to be always right in a fight, to be treated like queens and indulge at our every whim.

These are just bonuses and perks of being in a relationship. In this dog-eat-dog world, you’re lucky to find yourself in a healthy and loving relationship. The truth is, men want the same as well; to be treated as your equal, to be respected, to let them take care of you as well as to be taken care of, to be treated like kings. Relationships take a lot of work. It requires so much of your time, effort and sacrifices are made. It isn’t always smooth sailing but whenever it gets rocky, it is important that you always choose each other.

Women tend to expect their man to be perfect, but it isn’t as simple as that. Men aren’t perfect. No one is. They’ll have their flaws, they’ll have their faults, and they have insecurities. Sometimes the situation would limit their efforts to show they care. But trust that they do love you, they do want to be with you and that they do want to make an effort to keep you happy.

Let’s establish that you are in a healthy relationship. As much as you want your partner to be there on your parents’ anniversary dinner or your sibling’s confinement in the hospital, your man has a life to lead too. Yes, he will make time to attend the important dates of your life but in return let him manage his time for that. Understand and learn if he has the capability to do your expectations of him. Sometimes, he also has responsibilities to take care as well. There are many factors that could be at play why he couldn’t make it. If he can’t come to your dates on time because he has to meet deadlines at work, why won’t you be the one to go to his place and bring him dinner? Men also appreciate you doing the effort. Another example would be in a long-distance relationship. Given that your present situation is hard, don’t make it harder by requiring him to talk to you all the time or to video chat with you whenever you have the time. If he can then he will. If he can’t then talk about it instead of moping around because you don’t feel loved or valued. Understand as well where your partner is coming from.

Men will do what you want them to do to keep you happy, but also to a certain extent. If you keep expecting them to be perfect, chances are they’ll get tired of keeping up with your expectations and you’ll be pushing them away. This will lead to disappointments, promises that are broken, and eventually problems will arise in the relationship.

Expectations could be the reason why certain relationships end. Relationships should be respectful of each other’s needs. If there are problems then there’s no other way but to talk about it and compromise. If he missed one of your important events, then let him make it up to you. If he does make it up to you or he does make it to your important events then reward him. If he asked if he can be with his friends on a Friday night, then let him. Let him live his life. Stop being jealous of the time he spends away from you because you’re supposed to let each other grow as a person; as an individual.

So ladies, keep your expectations at a minimum. THINK and consider if he is able to do the things you want him to do, if his time would allow it, if the distance would allow it, if the budget or the circumstance would allow it. After all, this relationship isn’t just about YOU being happy. This relationship is about him as well. This is about the both of you, because you’re both in this relationship together. Put aside your selfishness at times and try to think of how you’re maintaining the relationship. Are you keeping him happy? Are you doing your part to make everything work? Are you making sure he’ll choose you? Because you should be choosing him as well. Be supportive of each other’s life and career goals and do not hinder them from growth. It’s high time that you stop thinking about how he should keep you happy. In the first place, you should have been happy without him trying to. It’s high time that you stop making a list of what a partner should be or how they should keep up with your expectations. Instead, try putting a list of how you can improve or how to keep the relationship work.

Remember, if you know your worth and you keep pushing them to value you by making more time then don’t you think they value their worth as well and would think they deserve someone who sees their efforts?  Appreciate the little things. After all, our partners deserve to be treated with the same love and respect that you want from them. Choose each other every day.