What's the Process of Dying Here?
I.
It's been a few years since this question popped into my head. I come from a tropical country some 6000 km away, and naturally, the culture is vastly different. As anyone who came from a low-to-middle-class family in a developing country would say: "The grass is greener on the other side." Don't even think about saying that if I watered my grass, it would be as evergreen as the neighbours'. I've watered my grass, and my grass has now encroached into their yard. Ergo, my decisions have ultimately brought me to my neighbour's yard.
I was walking down the street where we used to live, and I noticed that I hadn't seen a house that had, for lack of a better term, "displayed" their dead yet.
Allow me to offer some context:
Where I come from, people like to display announcement boards outside their houses—so much so that they look like billboard advertisements for the family's recent prized achievement—a humble brag, if you will.
Be it the oldest son's passing of the National Medical Board Exam or the simplest nabbing the first prize in a singing competition, expect a massive placard of faces outside their houses. It doesn't matter that they have no food to feed their kids as long as they try to keep appearances.
Now, when it comes to the dead, our practices are somewhat similar. We display our dead. No, we don't parade the deceased outside for everyone to see, but there are signs that someone has passed away. The casket is placed in the deceased's house or at a funeral home. And that is just the norm. It could have dated back to when the Spaniards colonised us; I can't say. Nevertheless, it is a tradition that everyone has followed since then. It is what I am accustomed to.
Hence, the question: How do you care for the dead? Do you hold a nightly vigil and serve your guests food and drinks, with lots of singing, and where you share your lovely memories of the person when they once were? Where are the people coming into the departed's home to share their family's grief? Where do they mourn? Where do you display your dead? Where is the wake? What do you do? Where's the hearse and the accompanying march that holds up the people going to work?
Maybe I'm being silly. I have only started getting to know the culture, and I could have easily missed how people here treat their departed. In any case, just so I can be prepared, what is the process of dying here?
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